Haiku I Wrote on My iPhone

This is my haiku.
It is by no means my best,
But I still like it.

Once, I wrote often,
But did not write very well.
Now, I just don't write.

Do not try my patience -
I have little for your kind
(By which I mean fools).

Have you read my blog?
Ydac Retsim on Blogspot.
Look me up sometime.

I forgot how much
I enjoy writing Haiku
Quite Therapeutic.

Ode to a Stank Tree

Stank Tree, oh Stank Tree,
Why do you reek so much?
Like bathroom trash, and swampy ass
Like Sex, and Shame, and Such.

Stank Tree, oh Stank Tree,
Your stench, it makes me frown
So Stank Tree, you rank tree,
I hope they cut you down

Jilted

I find myself barred by both fate and chance.
Can't get up the nerve to ask you to the dance.
Love doesn't matter; it's my fear that restrains me.
Fear of rejection; now, what does that gain me?

It's psychological
It's so illogical
I've sabotaged my life since years ago.
I've lost my sanity
And my humanity
Forgotten things I thought I used to know.

I've waited too long; someone else asked you first
Life feels as if my existence is cursed
I drop to my knees; now I beg and I plead.
My eyes start to water; my heart starts to bleed.

It's psychological
It's so illogical
I've sabotaged my life since years ago.
I've lost my sanity
And my humanity
Forgotten things I thought I used to know.

It wouldn't have mattered if I'd asked you sooner
You'd never go out with such a sad loser.
I can't offer anything, save for my love,
But to one such as you that's not nearly enough.

To die for you would be nothing great,
My death's unimportant, and so it can wait.
I've only one sacrifice left I can give.
And so for you, my love, I've decided to live.

Love Ruins Friendships

You say that we can still be friends
I tell you that you're lying.
You say, "I'm sorry, I don't love you,"
I say, "Well, thanks for trying."

Love ruins friendships:
That's all that's sure about it.
Love ruins friendships,
And you're a fool to doubt it.

I love you; you don't love me,
There's nothing we can do.
The wound you gave me will never heal
You doubt me, but it's true

Love ruins friendships:
That's all that's sure about it.
Love ruins friendships,
And you're a fool to doubt it.

Oh I'd do anything for you
But it's just a bit uneasy.
Anytime you say "just friends"
It makes me feel queasy.

Love ruins friendships:
That's all that's sure about it.
Love ruins friendships,
And you're a fool to doubt it.

You're beautiful, bewitching, and
You know I'll always miss you.
I never even stood a chance,
I never even kissed you...

Love ruins friendships:
That's all that's sure about it.
Love ruins friendships,
And you're a fool to doubt it.

Love ruins friendships:
That's all that's sure about it.
Love ruins friendships,
And you're a fool to doubt it.

The Damning Call

At Night the Sirens come
They call to me by name
Some I know, some are new
But all have this common call:
"Come to me--I will love you
Stay with me, I will hold you
Kiss me. I want you."
All call me, but I must not come
I want to scream, but their song calls me to harmony
I want what they offer, but not from them.
They share a thousand faces, yet clamber over one
The one I do not yet recognize--
The face of she I ought to love.

Spontaneous Burst of Rhyme

Woe to those
Who never chose
To close their clothes
The way they ought to close them.

For Foes of those
With Unclosed Clothes
Will suffer blows
'Pon those until they close them

And no one knows
Just where these foes
Of unclosed clothes
May show, or whence arose from.

Knockoff

I'm sick of feeling empty
I'm done with running low
I'm drained of all emotion
What you see is just a show.

Ask me for advice
I'll say, "Avoid me if you can."
I'm not a real person
I'm just a knockoff man.